La La La I Can’t Fa La La Hear You

I have a confession to make.

Every, single year it happens in November, typically on the day after Thanksgiving, but occasionally before the wonderful day of food giving thanks. It usually begins on a lonely, silent night when ye merry gentlemen are just settling down for some rest. Without fail it will catch me off guard like a bell jingling during a dream about how December 25th might turn out to be white this year or while I’m busy offering a cup of cheer to my neighbor. Yes, I have to ask, do you hear what I hear?

Original Photo Courtesy of Striatic on Flickr.

Hark! I hate Christmas music.

It’s true. I despise the songs of the holidays. I abhor them even more than I hate those little pieces of fuzz that end up all over my dryer every time I clean the filter thing out. More than I hate grocery baskets being left in parking lots so they can bang into my car. I almost hate them as much as being asked if I’m wearing my husband’s jacket, but that’s pushing it a little.

Every time someone joys to the world at the grocery store or holly-jolly-christmases on my radio red and green goo starts seeping out of my ears. Then I change the station to no avail. It’s everywhere. It’s like the FM carolers are sitting in my passenger seat overflowing with Let It Snows to propel in my direction. 

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s because the music is so effing jolly. Or maybe it’s because I can’t get away from it. Or maybe it’s because I really prefer to listen to music in my car that doesn’t get burned into my brain for 6 hours after I’ve killed the engine. Whatever it is, it makes me shudder. You know that feeling you get when you ask a not-pregnant lady when her baby is due? You know, like you need to run really fast in the opposite direction and not stop until her wails of cursing can’t be heard anymore? No? Well, whatever makes you want to run really fast with your fingers in your ears screaming “LA LA LA I CAN’T FA LA LA HEAR YOU” – that’s how Christmas music makes me feel. 

I know I’ll probably lose some friends over this one. So, I guess if you can’t relate by telling me how much you hate Christmas music you can list your favorite Christmas songs in the comments so I can tape them to gift boxes and throw darts at them….or maybe I’ll make tiny little straight-pin flags to torture my Voo Doo Santa with.