What Medical School Doesn’t Teach Us

In the course of our work as doctors we will undoubtedly witness events that change the life of our patients, but coming into medical school I never realized how directly some of these events would also change my life. 

Often in medicine we see people at the worst possible time. Our patients are usually sick or grieving and rarely happy to be in our presence, no matter how great we might think we are. More often than not, they are experiencing things we’ve never experienced, things we understand on a molecular or biochemical level, but not on a palpable, emotional level. We don’t know what it’s like to live in their shoes, so we draw on our experiences, the experiences of past patients we’ve seen and the knowledge we’ve gained in our training and do our best to play the role of both healer and comforter.

  But, as medical students, sometimes our pool of past patients with similar experiences to draw on is limited. How do we ensure we are the best providers for our patients when we may have absolutely no clue how they are feeling? I truly believe that, as medical students, we have a very important role on the healthcare team, but when our experiences are limited what do we base our actions off of?

I believe Social Media has a role to play here.


  Because I’m interested in Ob/Gyn and Reproductive Endocrinology I keep track, via Twitter and blogs, of several women’s journeys through infertility and pregnancy loss. I have silently watched from the sidelines as they supported each other through loss, openly shared their heartache with strangers and occasionally even expressed what they wished friends, family & medical professionals had done or not done for them while they were hurting. 

So, when I happened to be the first provider into the room to see a woman who was miscarrying, I wasn’t entirely uncomfortable. I’ve never been through pregnancy loss or talked at length with any friends who have experienced it, but it was almost like I had an army of compassionate friends in my back pocket providing me with insight I could not possibly have had otherwise.

Without these women I would have asked a quick list of questions and gotten the heck out of that room, because quite honestly, I would have been uncomfortable and entirely at a loss for what to say without making things worse.

Instead, I knew that this patient likely wanted someone to listen to her story, that she probably would benefit from hearing that this wasn’t her fault and there was nothing she could have done differently or better. I understood how important it was to let her know she was allowed to feel however she felt, whether that be completely devastated, functionally numb or even relieved. She needed to hear from someone else that she was allowed to grieve, that any feelings of loss were wholly valid and that, even though I had no idea on a personal level what she was going through, I was going to do everything I could to support her while she was there.

These ladies are my teachersmy professorsmy examples. Without trying, without being paid, without PowerPoints or lectures, they taught me how to be a compassionate caretaker in a situation I did not understand.

  As I walked out of my patient’s room that day I knew she still had a long road ahead of her, but I was confident that, if even just a little, I had helped her. I left that day realizing that, without my presence in Social Media, the night would have likely gone very differently. I left knowing that nothing in medical school would ever have prepared me to be confident enough to begin to handle a situation I could not possibly understand.

Most importantly, I left knowing she had helped me more than I had helped her, because she had opened my eyes to the fact that everyone around us is a teacher…even on the internet.

Medical school teaches us how to handle situations we can control, ones we can fix or change or at least slow down – not how to handle emotionally-heavy situations where a negative outcome is inevitable and immediate…only experience teaches that.



I wrote this several months ago as a thank you to my Twitter friends who have dealt with this situation publicly and today I finally decided to share it here. So, thank you for letting a bystander hang out in your world every once in a while and for being open about your struggles, losses and triumphs. You, along with all the other patients, activists, and advocates I interact with, both online and off, are making me a more compassionate, informed and confident care giver. You teach me things I will never learn in school, help me keep up-to-date on literature and are a huge asset…not only to me, but to my future patients.

Image: Sura Nualpradid |
Image: Ambro |

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9 Comments + Add Comment

  • I am in awe.

    You have taught me SO MUCH too. I am so glad that my experiences– our experiences– helped you help that patient whose heart was just broken. You will make one excellent doctor, love. If you should choose women’s health, any woman would be lucky to have you as her doctor.

    Keep up the good work!

  • Truly touching entry that really gives another reason for every medical student to use the social media community to enhance their education.

  • […] What Medical School Doesn’t Teach Us from Danielle Jones’ blog: Mind on Medicine […]

  • I’m really glad that I’ve stumbled onto your blog. I’m starting medical school in two weeks and am completely terrified! I was googling ‘how to study in med school’ and came across one of your posts. I would have never thought about using social media as a way to gain priceless experience that you can’t get from a book. I find it hard when people tell me about their bad news. I never know what to say. This is a great piece of advice, and I’ll definitely be on the hunt for ways to learn like you did.

    • Thanks for stopping by, Jennifer! Please let me know if you ever have questions or need help getting started in the social media scene. :)

  • […] Danielle has consciously avoided promoting her blog among her fellow med students – though some of them have mentioned to her that they read it.  And nearly all of them have been positive about the notoriety it’s gained her with iMedicalApps and Doximity.  But it also caused her to gain the notice of the medical school administration.  When Danielle started medical school, the only mentions of social media were cautionary tales – “Don’t share patient information!  You could go to jail or get kicked out of school!”  That differs pretty widely from her own viewpoint, which she articulated brilliantly here, in her post entitled, “What Medical School Doesn’t Teach Us.” […]

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  • Incredible! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Superb choice of colors!

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  • Experience is the best teacher. Am glad to learn from you that the social media plays a very important role in terms of what we are lacking from our medical schools. Keep on enlightening us on the various options out there that can help us in achieving out goals.

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About The Author

I'm an ObGyn. I started this blog as a medical student (some would call that doctor school) and now I'm working as an Ob/Gyn, which is seriously the coolest job ever. I'm a twin mom and recently added a baby brudder to the mix. My life story through November 2010 can be viewed here. The events in the many years following can be summed up as wedding bells, books, exams, babies, and doctoring. I started this blog in hopes of landing a role in a Lifetime movie so I could quit medicine and move to Hollywood, but that hasn't if you wouldn't take medical advice from Angelina Jolie, you shouldn't take it from me. I may not even be a real person. In fact, I'm probably a spambot. Or possibly a 15 yo boy blogging from a dingy basement. If you're really interested you can read more about me here. If you have any questions or want to guest post contact me.

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