Kids For Dummies
Being as I’m neither a parent nor an expert in the field of parenting, it’s not very often that I’m ready to judge someone’s ability to parent. However, occasionally something happens that makes me wish there were legal forms requiring a signature from a doctor, lawyer and priest before one could utilize their reproductive organs.
When I pulled up the red light I was so busy trying to figure out why my favorite radio station wasn’t coming in that I paid no attention to the vehicle next to me. Then, using my super hero-like peripheral vision, I noticed the passenger side window of a bright red mustang rolling down and it caught my attention. It’s cold outside, why in the heck are they rolling down the window?
When I looked over I really expected to see someone tossing a McDonald’s bag or ashing their cigarette, in which case I promptly would have rolled down my window and screamed one of the following before speeding off in a cloud of dust:
- YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE.
- YOU’RE GOING TO GET CANCER.
- PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT!
- DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS!
- PICK THAT UP RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN.
Instead of sharing my obviously judgement thoughts with the world, I sat speechless with my jaw in my lap when I saw neither McDonalds nor Marlboro tumbling out the window…
Dad noticed the window was down and rolled it back up just in time for them to speed off ahead of me when the light turned green. About a mile up the street I was going around 52 mph and they were a good ways ahead of me, so let’s be generous and say they were going 60 mph (which is 10mph over the speed limit in this area, but if you don’t buckle in your 3 year old I’m not entirely surprised when you are speeding with one hand on the wheel and one hand fixing the sun visor your unrestrained child was just hanging off of).
There are so many fabulous couples battling infertility who would do anything for the chance to safely strap a baby into a rear-facing car seat or booster seat in the back of their car, while this guy practically asks for his child to be taken away from him.
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I’m an Ob/Gyn resident (that means I went to medical school to become a doctor) and now I'm working like a crazy person to learn my trade before I'm on my own in the wild. Once upon a time I birthed a couple of babies of my own, they're friggin' adorable twin toddlers now. My life story through November 2010 can be viewed here. The events in the many years following can be summed up as wedding bells, books, exams, babies, and doctoring. I only started this blog in hopes of landing a role in a Lifetime movie so I could quit medicine and move to Hollywood, so if you wouldn't take medical advice from Angelina Jolie, you shouldn't take it from me. I may not even be a real person. In fact, I'm probably a spambot. Or possibly a 15 yo boy blogging from a dingy basement. If you're really interested you can read more about me here. If you have any questions or want to guest post contact me.