Longest 24 Years Of My Life

It has been brought to my attention that you nosy people the 3 people who read my blog would like to know more about me. Well, that’s just too dang bad – I’m going stealth – none of you will ever know my true identity.

Okay, that’s a lie and not only because I think anonymous blogging is dumb in the absence of supremely defined motives (i.e. blogging about more important things than I ramble about here) – it’s also a lie because I litter my Twitter (email my manager about pricing for white, female rapper appearances) with links to this in the hopes my friends inside the internet will materialize into typing fingers. 

August 1986: Bless mom & dad with best gift they would ever receive. 

Uhhh, gift? Why do people call birthing a child a gift? It’s a blessing to be sure, but not a gift. You don’t pay for your own gifts, someone gives them to you, for free….no strings attached. Parents pay for kids, keep them alive, feed them, send them to college, make sure they turn into some sort of upstanding member of society (you might of dropped the ball on that one, parents)….that’s not a gift. Or it better not be. If I get a Christmas gift that costs me an average of a quarter of a million dollars over the course of the time I have it I will. be. pissed! I won’t get too worried about it, though, my income is likely to increase over time!

Some Month 1989: Parent’s Divorce
Some Years Soon After: Parent’s re-marry, shiny new step-parents gain step-child. 
August 1994: Take 3 month old baby sister to school as my “Show And Tell” (yes, really)
August 1995: Baby sister #2 born.
1995-2002: Compete gymnastics, begin playing golf, begin playing the piano, quit playing the piano, begin playing the flute, quit playing the flute, forced to quit gymnastics, start cheerleading so I can still tumble, compete power tumbling & trampoline, join the golf team, suck at golf, get a little better at golf, have lots of fights with parents, gain and lose friends, begin hating home town, devise plan to get far, far away from home town
August 2002: Fail driving test. Throw a temper tantrum. Embarrass mother.
Next Day August 2002: Yell at DMV for computers crashing on such an important day.
Next Day August 2002: Pass driving test. Receive DL despite maturity level of toddler. 
November 2003: Step-Dad needs lung transplant.
December 2003: Move in with Dad, Step-Mom, Youngest Sister.
December 2003: Mom, Step-Dad, Older Little Sister move to Houston. 
May 2004: Graduate High School.
August 2004: College 10 hrs away. Fulfill plan to get far, far away from hometown.
September 2005: Receive phone call in airport at 5am after driving 4 hrs telling me my 58 year old Nana died of Breast Cancer. Change plans from going to say goodbye to going to bury someone far too young.
March 2006: Step-Dad gets new lungs. 
September 2006: Choose to get serious about recovering from haunting chapter of life.
November 2006: Meet handsome lad. Stand on rock and declare Queendom (engagement story to be told in a later post). Start dating handsome lad unofficially.
December 2006: Fall in love for the first time.
January 2007: Start dating handsome lad officially. Gain furry child #1. 
March 2007: Meet the family of Step-Dad’s organ donor. Life changed. 
April 2007: Become advocate of Organ Donation. 
May 2007: Rescue furry child #2 from shelter. 
October 2007: Apply to Medical School for the first time.
November 2007: Begin this blog. Post once. 
February 2008: Rejected from Medical School. Post in blog a second time.
March 2008: Get furry child #3. 
April 2008: Decide I will be a doctor. Take MCAT again. Question sanity. 
May 2008: Graduate college Magna Cum Laude with a Bachelor’s in Psychology. 
Late May 2008: Realize a Psyc BS provides me with absolutely not profitable skills.
June 2008: Begin working for a doctor. Question sanity.
July 2008 – December 2008: Question decision to enter medical field.
December 2008: Begin wearing large rock on left hand. 
February 2009: Receive acceptance to medical school. Cry. Laugh. Freak out.
March 2009: Mom and Step-Dad divorce. 
July 2009: Marry handsome lad in beautiful chapel. 
July 2009: Begin medical school. 
August 2009: Start fielding the “WHEN ARE YOU HAVING KIDS?!” question.
March 2010: Get SCUBA certification with handsome lad.
May 2010: Post in blog again. 
October 2010: Post 6th blog at this address. 
July 2010: Eat cake that is one year old. Almost puke. 
November 2010: Bore all of blog-o-sphere with timeline of life. 
Not really what you were hoping for? Too bad, this timeline was for me as much as it was for you. So, if you don’t read it screw you! Get off my @$(*&@! blog I won’t be hurt and you can stop feeling bad about it. I just know you were feeling bad about it. 

Alright readers, I want to know what made you who you are. You don’t have to be as wordy as me, I get to do that because it’s my blog – See: It’s My Blog and I’ll Be Boring If I Want Tobut just introduce yourself! I really want to get to know my readers. Just say hello so I can print this out for my mother to hang on her fridge as proof that someone occasionally listens to things I say.