{"id":654,"date":"2011-01-20T13:48:00","date_gmt":"2011-01-20T18:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mindonmed.com\/2011\/01\/kids-for-dummies.html"},"modified":"2011-08-25T17:37:14","modified_gmt":"2011-08-25T22:37:14","slug":"kids-for-dummies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/old.mindonmed.com\/2011\/01\/kids-for-dummies.html","title":{"rendered":"Kids For Dummies"},"content":{"rendered":"

Being as I’m neither a parent nor an expert in the field of parenting, it’s not very often that I’m ready to judge someone’s ability to parent. However, occasionally something happens that makes me wish there were legal forms requiring a signature from a doctor, lawyer and priest before one could utilize their reproductive organs.<\/span>
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When I pulled up the red light I was so busy trying to figure out why my favorite radio station wasn’t coming in that I paid no attention to the vehicle next to me. Then, using my super hero-like peripheral vision, I noticed the passenger side window of a bright red mustang rolling down and it caught my attention. It’s cold outside, why in the heck are they rolling down the window?<\/i><\/span>
<\/i><\/span>
<\/i>When I looked over I really expected to see someone tossing a McDonald’s bag or ashing their cigarette, in which case I promptly would have rolled down my window and screamed one of the following before speeding off in a cloud of dust:<\/span><\/p>\n

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  1. YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. YOU’RE GOING TO GET CANCER.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT!<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS!<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. PICK THAT UP RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN.<\/span> <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Instead of sharing my obviously judgement thoughts with the world, I sat speechless with my jaw in my lap when I saw neither McDonalds nor Marlboro tumbling out the window… <\/span>

    <\/span><\/p>\n

    <\/a><\/div>\n


    <\/span><\/p>\n

    No, what I saw coming out of that window was the tiny fingers of an adorable blonde-headed little boy. A three-ish year old in the front seat of a Mustang, leaning on the dash, rolling down the window and sticking his hands out to wave at me…all while dad tells the other end of a cell phone about last night’s American Idol premiere.<\/span><\/div>\n

    Dad noticed the window was down and rolled it back up just in time for them to speed off ahead of me when the light turned green. About a mile up the street I was going around 52 mph and they were a good ways ahead of me, so let’s be generous and say they were going 60 mph (which is 10mph over the speed limit in this area, but if you don’t buckle in your 3 year old I’m not entirely surprised when you are speeding with one hand on the wheel and     one hand fixing the sun visor<\/a> your unrestrained child was just hanging off of).<\/span><\/div>\n

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    For some perspective, watch as this unrestrained three-year simulation child flies almost through the front window after a crash at 30mph (!!!!) and sustains what the narrator describes as “most likely fatal injuries.”<\/span><\/div>\n

    <\/span><\/div>\n